Why Michelle Should Get Oprah To Slim Down

If you haven't been living under a rock, the last week or so, you know that the Packers won the Super Bowl, Keith Nowhereman was fired at MSNBC and Michelle Obama wants to have the government force restaurants to reduce their portion sizes.

The first two things are okay by me, even though the word on the street today was that Nowhereman has been hired by Fat Algor's TV network. (Where is that playing anyway?)

The third thing...the government forcing restaurants to change the way they operate, is absolutely idiotic. Are portion sizes too big? And...if they are...what business is it of the government? According to Comrade Michelle, everything and anything is government business and vice versa. I can't think of any area where the Obama's won't stick their nose. The problem is that they just aren't very good at interpeting the smells they find.

Hubby couldn't figure out that people wanted jobs, which cost him the House, but it did get rid of Comrade Pelosi, so he probably considers that a draw. He still has the dim witted old guard around (Biden and Reid), but even though they can't shoot straight, it's not like Pelosi's figurative fingernails on the chalkboard.

Getting the government involved in portion control is a whale of a dumb idea. It won't work and it may move a lot of the television chefs into the Republican column.

Let's say you restrict the amount of chicken wings in an order to 12 ounces (most joints serve a pound). What's to stop Bubba from ordering two orders?

Here's my biggest argument for why this won't work (aside from Americans hating to be told what to do, or not do). Most overeating is done at home, not out in restaurants. Think about it for a minute. Where does the most junk food get eaten? Home, home and home.

Last week, Comrade Michelle was on Commissar Oprah's new network and I don't recall they talked about food. (That could be because I let the wife watch, while I decided to do something productive.) But she didn't mention it, so I'm assuming they slobbered all over each other about something else.

Now, if Comrade Michelle is really serious about slimming folks down (as I am), she should publicly challenge Commissar Oprah to slim down. I'm talking about a serious slimming, one where two years from now, she isn't as big as a beer cooler again (with apologies to the beer cooler).

My last point is that we just don't need the government involved in this at all and that these super nannies ought to just shut up and leave us alone.

How about this? Let's make Comrade Michelle take the BMI test. (It's a worthless test, but the government still uses it.) I'm betting she can't pass. She may have toned arms, but there's still plenty of lard in that butt. When she passes, she gets to be Oprah's personal trainer. She gets to be the one who tells Oprah she can't have anymore horseradish mashed potatoes. Let's see how long that lasts.

Then we'll think about what she's proposing.